Star Wars Survivor: Mayhem
by Master Jedi87
Summary: What happens when star wars characters new and old are tossed onto an island to fend for themselves...
1. the story begins

Disclaimer: I do not own star wars and related characters, locations, etc. I am just a fan and I do admire what they have done. I also do not own survivor, but I am a loyal fan.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------  
  
  
  
First of all, lets take a look at the characters and the tribes:  
  
1 Old School Tribe:  
  
Luke Skywalker  
  
Han Solo  
  
Princess Leia  
  
Chewie  
  
Darth Vader  
  
The Emperor  
  
Boba Fett  
  
C-3PO  
  
New School Tribe:  
  
Qui-Gon Jinn  
  
Mace Windu  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi  
  
Padme  
  
Anakin Skywalker (19yr old)  
  
Yoda  
  
Jar Jar Binks  
  
R2-D2  
  
  
  
Star Wars Survivor: Mayhem  
  
  
  
::Opening themes of star wars and survivor::  
  
  
  
Day 1:  
  
Jeff, the host, can be heard talking in the background.  
  
"16 creatures. All of which have no idea what they are about to embark on. Their mission: to survive and form a society. For the next 42 days they will be forced to work together as a team."  
  
Both teams are loaded in rafts and tossed into the ocean.  
  
Jeff calls out, "Good luck," with a chuckle.  
  
  
  
……to be continued. 


	2. the tribes are in flames

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to star wars. I also do not own anything related to survivor.  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
Setting: Day 1. Both tribes have hit the beach at their camps.  
  
Old School Tribe/ Day 1:  
  
Boba Fett: "What do you mean that I can't be the leader?"  
  
Chewie: Roar, growl, Roar  
  
C-3PO: "oh dear, let me see if I can put this in a more gentle way… Chewbacca would like to inform you, uh, expletive deleted, that uh, expletive deleted, you can, oh forget this… you just cant be leader Fett so get over it."  
  
Darth Vader: I sense a disturbance in the force…  
  
Luke: You always sense a disturbance in the force…. Jeeeez  
  
Darth Vader: You are grounded son  
  
Luke: you cant do that!  
  
Vader: oh really?  
  
Luke: (cough, choke, cough) alright already I get the point!!  
  
Leia: man I am not related to those two…  
  
Han is building a fire on the beach with an amused look on his face  
  
Vader and luke are still arguing.  
  
Emperor Palpatine is taking a nap under a tree.  
  
Boba Fett is using 3PO as a moving target…  
  
  
  
Day 1/ New School Tribe:  
  
Qui-Gon, Mace, and Obi-Wan are sitting around on the beach talking about an alliance.  
  
Qui-Gon: If we can get Anakin and Yoda, we will own the other members and the other tribe.  
  
Mace: whatever, I really don't care…. If anyone attempts to vote me off ill just kill them…  
  
Obi-Wan: I agree with mace.  
  
Yoda and Anakin are sleeping on a tree branch.  
  
Padme, R2, and Jar Jar are gathering food.  
  
Mace: Its getting late, lets get some rest…  
  
  
  
Day 2/ Old School Tribe:  
  
Leia walks up: We have mail!  
  
Han: what is it?  
  
Leia: "For a reward, we have to carry jellyfish in our hands and put them into a bucket at the shore…"  
  
Vader: we better get going then…  
  
  
  
Jeff, the host, is standing at the shore waiting for the two tribes to arrive…  
  
As both come to stand on the beach, anakin glances over to vader.  
  
Anakin: wait a minute, im here, and that's me like years from now…. Jeez is that even possible?  
  
Vader: shut up moron, it doesn't have to make sense.  
  
Jeff: ready?  
  
Everyone: ya  
  
Jeff: ok the reward is…  
  
He shows them the reward  
  
Fett: a block of government cheese?  
  
Jeff: ya whats the problem  
  
Everyone starts walking back to camp  
  
Jeff: wait! Don't you want it?  
  
Palpatine hits him with a bolt of lightning  
  
Jeff: man I hate him…  
  
  
  
Day 3/ New school camp:  
  
Jar Jar and Anakin are in a heated argument  
  
Anakin: what do you mean that the producers are afraid of the other team and just randomly chose us to have to go to tribal council?  
  
Jar Jar: hey! Mesa just sayin what mesa was told.  
  
Anakin: well….. we can fix that!  
  
Anakin pull his lightsaber and makes somewhat of a mess of the annoying gungan.  
  
Everyone else: thank you…  
  
  
  
Tribal Council:  
  
Jeff: hello everyone, im sorry that the rules were broken some today.  
  
Jeff: wait a second, where is Jar Jar?  
  
Anakin: (cough) he swam home ( cough)  
  
Jeff: well I guess we don't have to vote… so get out of the comfort that this area has and get back to your dirt camp… see ya….  
  
Jeff: that was messed up…  
  
To be continued…… Please review! 


	3. the fighting continues....

Disclaimer: I don't own star wars or survivor or anything related to them… and the remarks to monty python… or any other movie that things may come from…  
  
Chapter 3:  
  
Old School Tribe/Day 4  
  
Han: I hate islands…  
  
Leia: Shut up!  
  
Han: you know what? Make me!  
  
Leia: maybe I should…. I mean no one else on this island is really doing good at the moment. Chewie is shaving his fur off for some unknown reason. Luke and Vader are trying to fish but now it looks like they are trying to drown each other. Its really hard to see who's winning. Boba Fett has taken 3PO's legs and is using them for what looks to be crude drumsticks on a rock, and the palpatine is still sick after his little shoot- fish- with- lightning- while- standing- in- the- water trick.  
  
Han: were you expecting something better?  
  
Leia: touché…  
  
Han turns to look at Chewbacca who is still shaving his fur…  
  
Han: what the heck are you doing?  
  
Chewie: grrrrr…. Roar…..spit.  
  
Han: watch it their psycho!  
  
  
  
New School Tribe/Day 4  
  
Anakin: hey I told you not to eat those mushrooms…  
  
Yoda: uhhhh….. sick have I become….  
  
Anakin: you brought it all on yourself…  
  
Yoda: shut up skywalker…. I really do hate you  
  
Anakin: yeah that really bothers me…  
  
Yoda levitates a rock and slams him in the head with it. It knocks anakin unconscious.  
  
Mace: chosen one (snicker)  
  
  
  
Day 5/ Reward challenge  
  
Jeff greets both tribes as they arrive  
  
Jeff: well I guess that the last reward was a little less than appealing…  
  
Everyone: yeah I wonder why you would think that  
  
Jeff: today's reward is something a little better…. An atom bomb!!!!  
  
Everyone: really?  
  
Jeff: no. It's actually just some chips and salsa.  
  
Anakin: whatever… anything to change the taste of that garbage that we have to force down our throats every night.  
  
Jeff: the challenge is called sea urchin dodgeball. Okay, both tribes will line up on either side of the line and chuck urchins with a mild paralysis venom inside at each other. Ready? Lets start.  
  
Both sides line up and get ready to start.  
  
Jeff: Survivors ready? Go!  
  
Both teams start throwing urchins at each other. Anakin picks up eight with the force and tosses them at Han who takes them all to the face. Padme tosses it at 3PO who can't move because of his lack of legs. Darth Vader and the Emperor pick up an amazing 84 and hurl them at Obi-wan, and Qui-gon who dodge greatly until obi wan takes one to the chest. Boba fett hurls 3 at anakin who yanks out his lightsaber and slices them all away before blasting him with force lightning. R2 uses a crude catapult to launch them at an unsuspecting papatine, who goes down with a cry. Chewie picks up an armful and buries yoda with them. Vader tosses one at anakin who bats it with a stick at luke who takes it to the back.  
  
Anakin: take that son!  
  
Leia slam dunks one on R2 and he collapses. Mace has constructed a crude blowgun and shoots Chewie with 47 darts in rapid firing succession. Vader carefully aims his shot at anakin and just as he releases the most incredible toss in the game… Leia pops up and is hit in the back of the head. Mace, qui gon, anakin, and padme all pick up 3 and toss them at vader who cannot dodge all because of the overwhelming amounts. The game is over and the New School Tribe wins…  
  
Jeff: well… that was interesting.  
  
  
  
New School Tribe camp:  
  
Yoda: I hate wookies.  
  
Anakin: I like chips and salsa. Mmmmmmm  
  
Padme: let me have some!  
  
All of them laugh as the night rolls in and they drift to sleep.  
  
  
  
Old School Tribe/Day 6  
  
Vader: well that was a fine day for my screw up son…  
  
Luke: oh… here it comes.  
  
Vader: he is always like this… I remember the time…… wait I don't remember what I was talking about.  
  
Luke: moron…  
  
  
  
Day 6/ immunity challenge:  
  
Jeff addresses the tribes.  
  
Jeff: today's challenge will be a test of the mind. It will test you knowledge of your teammates.  
  
Yoda: great…  
  
Jeff: Ok we have randomly chosen pairs from each team. First up from the New School Tribe is Yoda and Padme. And from the Old School Tribe comes Vader and Chewie. The question is… What is the teammate' favorite brand of deoderant?  
  
Vader: I can't tell you. The wookie smells like a stone with animal feces on it.  
  
Chewie: howl……  
  
Jeff: no that's wrong. Chewie favors old spice.  
  
Vader: whatever  
  
Padme: yoda likes speed stick.  
  
Yoda: I actually use a mixture of mud and swamp paste.  
  
Padme: sick little…..  
  
Jeff: no points for either side. The next pairs are leia and 3PO and anakin and and R2. The question is: What is the…. Aww who cares….. anakin gets the point.  
  
Leia: WHAT!  
  
Jeff: shh  
  
Leia But…  
  
Jeff: shh  
  
Leia: Bu..  
  
Jeff: shh  
  
Leia: B..  
  
Jeff: shut up… nobody cares….  
  
Leia: I do!  
  
Jeff: and you are a nobody…. Ouch! Walked right into that one didn't we?  
  
Leia: I hate him.  
  
Jeff: I decide that the Old School tribe must go to tribal council because Leia argued.  
  
Old School Tribe: ya whatever.  
  
  
  
Day 6/ tribal council:  
  
All of them are around a fire.  
  
Jeff: ya ok the torch represents life and if I put the cup thingy over it, it means your out of here. OK? Lets do this voting so I can go to bed.  
  
Voting process goes on until all have voted…  
  
Jeff: ok here they are.  
  
Leia  
  
Leia  
  
Han  
  
Vader  
  
Vader  
  
Vader  
  
Chewie  
  
Tim the enchanter and peter pann and pancakes and….. ok that's enough. Vader your gone…  
  
Vader: I was so close to the end and I don't hold any grudges (sniffle, sniffle)  
  
Jeff: ok that's enough. Take care now, bye bye then.  
  
Jeff: well that was boring, get out of here before I release the dogs with bees in their mouths so that when they bark bees fly out.  
  
To be continued…..  
  
Please review!!!! I appreciate the ones I've received…… 


End file.
